Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Grieving a lossThis post is dedicated to my baby of just 2 weeks. As of today (7 Oct 08) at 930pm, my beloved kitten passed away due to unknown reasons.
Exactly 2 weeks ago, when I was in the midst of preparing for my final campaign, God saw fit to toss this adorable little thing my way. I took him in, at first intending to leave it in some alley way behind a mamak but as it was, I ended up taking care of it as I have done my past several cats. All the cats I've taken in have been raised since kittenhood and all of whom I love dearly.
All the times I had loving it, adoring it even when it shits and pees everywhere.
It was my baby, my second official son after my first male cat.
I loved it like a mother would her child.
I fed it, cleaned after it, played with it and watch it try to meet its older brother...
Just today morning it was cuddled up next to me in bed, purring and meowing happily. Why, it even had the nerves to pee on me when I laid it on my chest to sleep.
Just this morning, it was fine.
And now it's gone.
I got home from the club only to find it lying limp in its cage. Its head was nerveless as was its body. I wrapped it in a towel, trying to keep it warm while it made soft noises through its clenched mouth. It kept looking at me as I cried like a pathetic fool. The last time I cried unhindered was when my first two cats died before my own two eyes. They died of old age. This little one died from some unknown reason.
When it took its last breath, I cried harder over its still body. I was foolish enough to think God would bring it back to life there and then. Why would He put something so precious in my life only to take it away 2 weeks later?
Why? To punish me?
If so, why not me? Why must it be my baby?
Now it's gone, its shell wrapped up in a towel and kept in a box to be buried. I loved it so much that it actually hurts. I feel as though a piece of my soul had died with it.
A lot of people would not understand this pain, thinking it's only a cat. I curse those people for their insensitiveness or maybe it's just my grief talking. Maybe not.
I never even got around to naming it properly. All we have been calling it was Poopie Cat because it pooped a lot. But it was so cute and adorable I can't help but love it even more.
And now, it's gone. Just like that.
Rest in Peace, my precious baby kitten.
You'll have always a place of love in my heart.
I'll miss you dearly...
Ai Shiteru....
10/07/2008
